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So I was pinching it, right? And then suddenly, it grew arms and legs and shouted "Self Destruct Sequence Activated" and started counting down. So I started panicking and called my homeboy, Craig. He was all like "If you love something, you gotta set it free". That statement really moved me. So I went over to where my weiner was and patted him on the back and said "I'm sorry for what I did. The rest of your life is yours to live." It was so happy that it stopped counting. I let it go outside so it can live its new life (probably working at a bakery or something). But it accidentally stepped on one of the mines I was growing in my minefield. Poor bastard exploded 💥